What to Expect from the New J.K. Rowling Story About A 34-Year-Old Harry Potter
Harry Potter and his friends finally get to act their age. And it’s as depressing as it sounds:
- After three beers, Harry starts claiming he never made it to the pro Quidditch league because of a knee injury.
- Ron calls Hermione a bitch and they have to go to magical couples counseling.
- Hagrid is working on an erotic fiction novel entitled ‘50 Shades of Me Penis.’
- Harry uses an Accounting Spell to cheat on his taxes.
- Ron is starting to get pretty into Steely Dan.
- The sorting hat had a midlife crisis and turned into a fedora.
- Hogwarts is now an online wizard school.